Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Shape of Mercy: Abigail on the Classics

The Shape of Mercy: Abigail on the Classics: "Monday, July 19, 2010
Abigail on the Classics
These will be my last words.

My doctor thought I wouldn't last through June. I believed him for the most part, why wouldn't I? - but I sensed a hedging within me when he said this, a reluctance to obey. I am still here.

But not for long. The doctor who tosses up his hands isn't quite sure now when I will depart but I can sense that it will be soon. Tonight, perhaps. It would be nice if it was tonight. I've always wanted to die in my sleep.

Clarissa is writing this for me and we just had to stop for a moment so she could complain about my choice of words. She is done complaining. Off we go again.

Lauren used to tell me I was a woman tethered to my regrets. She doesn't say that anymore. I don't think I am the same woman I was when hired her to transcribe Mercy's diary. I waited a long time for someone like Lauren to give the diary to. Deep down I think I knew that when I did find that someone, when I was finally able to let the diary go, I'd finally be able to let go of a lot of things.

I don't hate my father anymore for his manifold unkindnesses to me. He missed my mother.

I don't hate myself for marrying Edward Swift. I missed the father I wished I'd had and the man I wished I'd married.

I don't hate myself for not loving Graham enough.

I don't hate anything more.

I've discovered that there are things you carry with you into the world beyond this one. Everything that resides in your heart makes the journey with you. I don't want to make the crossing with hate in residence.

I've tried to thank Lauren for her part in my coming to this place. She is always trying to minimize the difference she has made in my life. I suppose it is too much to consider how things would have turned out if she had not answered the ad. I realize now she almost didn't. And she cannot bear to consider that. And I would not be the same person had I not met Clarissa, had not opened this crypt of a home to these girls. If Lauren had not answered the ad, I would not have met either of them. And who knows what might become of Mercy's diary, then? What would have become of all of us?

Clarissa has left the room. She needs a minute. I think I can finish this on my own. Yes, I think I can.

I leave you with this: Zora Hurston, writer and anthropologist, penned this. I read it some time ago and forgot it for many years: 'Love makes your soul crawl out out from its hiding place.' Our crooked souls are bent on hiding until we understand how beautiful it is out from under the rock which we think protects us, but in fact, presses us into the dust.

I see that now. It is beautiful here in the vastness. It always has been. I just had my back to it. God in His mercy, and oh how extravagant is mercy, waited for me to crawl out of my hiding place and see it for myself.

How strange to think people will say I died in my sleep. I will wake in my sleep.

I am ready.
Posted by Susan Meissner at 10:09 AM
Labels: Abigail

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Abigail on the Classics

This letter has touched the deepest thought in my soul. I am merely a passerby, visiting unknown territories through Susan's blog and began to read thru this letter and was completely struck to a halt when Abigail said she stopped hating.... The rest left me in tears, blessed tears celebrating her beauty and understanding that which I haven't understood yet. You who knew her, her dear friends, were very privileged to have known her in life. I wish I had also.

The Love of Christ,
Barb Shelton
barbjan10@tx.rr.comAbigail on the Classics

ShoutLife.com - a fresh approach to social networking

ShoutLife.com - a fresh approach to social networking

MY PERSONAL PROMISE FROM GOD!

JEREMIAH 29:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Penny Zeller (pennyzeller) on Twitter

Penny Zeller (pennyzeller) on Twitter

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Current Giveaway

Current Giveaway

Thanks Julie!!

Your comment means so much to me. Glad you came by and have become a follower.  That makes me proud.  Is this little story the only one you read?  Be seeing you at your celebration in another hour and a half!  I'm so excited for you.  Hope there is a big crowd there!!
Hugs, Barb

DAUGHTER AMY FINDS NEW JOB!!

Good news today!!  Daughter Amy, who I will introduce and tell her story at a later date, found a new job today.  She's been without work for almost a year.  She is a hair stylist, specializing in children's hair, however her job will be with Great Clips as a hair stylist.  So thrilled for her.  She's had a tough row to hoe since she was 15.  Please include her in your prayers that her life will continue to straighten out.  She is a recovering drug addict of 25 years also, and so far is doing a great job of staying sober.  She has been through much trauma and dramatic situations in her lifetime.  Amy is one of 3 adopted children to which I am a mother.  She just became a new grandmother for the 4th time Monday and is ecstatic over Aslyn's birth.

Julie Lessman - CONTEST!

Julie Lessman - CONTEST!

BE AWARE OF HOW YOU SMELL TO OTHERS!!

LOL!  Last week I had a strange happening, but it's quite humorous.  At least I think so!  I was attending my Thursday morning Bible Study at the church.  I was using my cane for the first time because my walking was being hampered by the pain that had increased in my legs and back.  When the study ended for the day, I took the elevator from the second floor to the first floor...or at least I thought I was.  At the first floor, the doors didn't open, and I felt myself being pulled upward, which almost toppled me over when the motion caused me to lose my balance.  I caught myself on the wall just about the time we stopped on the second floor and the doors opened.  Standing at the door waiting were two of my classmates.  Mary, who also has a mobility problem and uses a walker, pushed her walker through the elevator entrance and as she turned around she asked, "Did you forget something, is that why you're coming back up?"  I answered, "No, didn't forget anything, I've been on a elevator that decided to come back up and get you ladies."  We laughed as Naomi got on the elevator.  The doors closed and we talked about the silly elevator coming back up when they had pushed the down button, and I wasn't able to get off.  We all got a little laugh at that.

We landed on the first floor and the doors opened.  Mary and Naomi walked out together and Naomi saw a friend and went over to him, hugged him and told him he looked beautiful in his bright red shirt.  He did stand out among the others in the hallway beside the children's nursery...because he must have been 6'5" and slightly overweight.  Naomi called him Dave.  Dave was a very large man.  Mary proceed to walk in front of me slowly because she was using her walker.  She also spoke to Dave, and as we walked ahead, I heard some conversation between Dave, Naomi and some other people who had been standing there.  The conversation was something about smelling...and I didn't pay much attention.  I continued to walk behind Mary who is also a large tall woman and I didn't attempt to go around her as I was also walking slowly with my cane because of my pain.  Suddenly I was aware of something or someone right behind my right shoulder leaning down with his nose practically on my neck, pulling in his breath like he was smelling my neck.  This startled me and I turned my head around quickly almost bumping faces with Dave who was bent forward still attempting to hold his nose close to my neck.  He commented loudly to the others walking along behind him, "Here it is...here is what I was smelling....," and to me he said with an apologetic giggle, "You smell lucious, what is that scent you are wearing?"  I stopped and turned to look up, up and more up to Daves face.  I giggled nervously and commented  in a reticent voice, "You scared me somewhat, I didn't expect anyone to be that close by my shoulder," still giggling nervously as Dave apologized saying he didn't mean to startle me, he was leaning to see if that lovely scent was coming from me," and he laughed, then asked me again to tell him what perfume I was wearing.  I said to him that I was flattered that he liked it and informed him politely that it was Organza by Givenchy.  We laughed together as he repeated the compliment that it was a lovely scent and he liked it very much.  I immediately thought to myself and said out loud rather embarrassed, "I didn't realize I put so much on that it was still emanating the scent."  "I didn't know others could still smell it."  The small crowd that was around us all laughed and Dave and I laughed with them, chatting all the way to the exit.  I mentioned to everyone that this funny incident was surely one way to make new friends.  I explained that I was a guest at the church attending the Bible Study; that I belonged to the sister church at the Matlock Road location.  Then I saw my friend Diane waiting in her car for me, as she was driving me home.  I hobbled to the car and climbed in, telling her I had something odd but funny to tell her on our drive to my home.  We laughed together about it and she said jokingly to me to be careful from now on...that could probably be a good way to pick up men.  That's another problem altogether that I don't need in my life.  I learned a good lesson that day about wearing too much perfume.  One could never  know what could happen.  I sure didn't expect all that excitement following a messed up elevator ride.  Funny morning, I thought to myself as I shut the car door.  I saw my husband Jack coming out to greet me and carry my books into the house for me and I wondered to myself if I should tell him of the incident.  Nope, I decided to myself....I've had enough trouble for one day. I'll just keep this compliment to myself and think about it when I need a good laugh and a lift in my spirit.  It really is nice to receive compliments from a strange person.  I wonder what God thought of all that?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

A SURPRISE INVITATION!!

Shannon Taylor Vannatter Hi Barbara,

Two things. You're not too late for the Lyn cote drawing. Whatever book is up for grabs each week is up from Monday - Saturday and you can leave a comment on any post during that week. Hope that makes sense. I always list the deadline in the heading.

You always give tidbits about your romance and you're a wri...ter, so I was wondering if you'd like to share it on the blog sometime. You can do one, two, or three days. I am booked half way through January, but after that is open. Here are the guidelines: http://shannonvannatter.com/contact/share-your-story/ If you're interested, let me know.

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shannonvannatter.com
Do you swoon over a good love story? The Inkslinger (Shannon's blog) shares love stories of real people just like you and fictional love stories of
Wednesday at 4:57pm · · · Share · See Wall-to-Wall · Flag
  • You like this.
    • Barbara J Shelton
      Generated by FaciconsShannon, I'm slightly and awesomely overwhelmed by your invitation!! You gave me an wonderful undeserved compliment by calling me a writer....that is my heartfelt hope right now...and I'm learning so much through kind and giving frien...ds like you encouraging me on. Thank you. Your invitation is very appealing to me and spurs me on toward being more creative and start writing that story seriously. I would like to pray on it before I give you a solid answer if you don't mind. I'd like to jump up and down, clap my hands and shout hallelujah....I can clap...and I can shout...but the jumping just won't happen!!! God Bless You my friend, Barb See More
      Wednesday at 5:33pm ·
    • Shannon Taylor Vannatter Your profile says you like to write, so you're a writer. Back when I started writing, I attended a conference and the speaker said if we don't think of ourselves as writers and call ourselves writers, we won't ever be writers. Just let me know. No pressure.

WHO IS THIS TREADMILL REALLY FOR ANYWAY?

The Dr's report on my x-rays  wasn't surprising but it wasn't welcome news.  Just a different response my body is making to the years of abuse and neglect through excess weight and overdoing the intake of spirits....not the spiritual kind.  But, that was another day and time...only important to present day in the damage it continues to cause.

Jack and I were both working at our computers last Saturday evening and the phone rang.  I noticed on the caller ID while Jack answered that it was Dr D and could hear his voice coming from the receiver when Jack held it to his ear. I listened to the conversational greetings and an apology for the late evening call waiting to hear what he called to tell us.

"I have the report on the x-rays Barb had taken, it's not real good news and explains the increased pain and discomfort she's had."

Jack's usual noncommittal reply..."Un huh...ok" ending the comment like a question.

Dr D continued, "she has severe arthritis in the lumbar spine and several compressed disks."  I heard the 'several compressed disks' and wondered to myself how many were several..

I watched my husband's poker face while he continued to listen  I heard something about "therapy set up with the clinic...exercise...no medication to prescribe to help.."  Jack replying only with "uh hums and i see's"

"What am I...a lump sitting here...?" I asked myself as I listened to the conversation about my medical problems and what could be done.  I watched my husband's left hand making notations on the back of a used envelope...one of his ways to save the trees. I heard myself do a brain chuckle about that and lost interest in the conversation and returned to my pc to scan my eyes over an email until the talking ended.

"Well, I could hear some of what Dr D said.....I guess I'll just have to live with this pain until I die." I mumbled as a fit of self-pity began to slip into my attitude.  "The pain from the last sciatia attack was unbearable and I thought it was leftover pain from that.  I wasn't expecting this and,"

Jack interrupted with his usual practicality that I'd just have to buckle down to the therapy and "the dr suggested aerobic swimming and the treadmill would be helpful.  You can finally put that new treadmill that has set in the small bedroom to good use and get our money's worth out of it."  Like I'm the one that bought the machine in the first place!

"Great." I thought.  "I'm dying from pain and he thinks about saving money."  I had another thought about how I had been begging for a treadmill for years with no results, UNTIL the newly adopted dog Riggs, gained weight after he came home with us and his former trainer/owner told Jack that Riggs used to get on her treadmill and walk to entertain himself all the time.  A dog took precedent over my wishes when the vet said he was too heavy and needed to lose weight!  I guessed I knew where I stood in the priority of things.  Who is really the dog around here anyway?

Later that night we were in bed.  Jack was softly snoring for the moment and I was reading from my Kindle.  Pain and thoughts about pain kept interrupting my concentration with the book.  My thoughts were stubborn about accepting all this and decided I would not go back to using the walker.  I felt anger...but at who?  My worst sins were only in not practicing moderation about some things during my life.  But, God is allowing all the consequences to hit me regardless of how I had changed from all of that.  I had been thin and sober for many years now...but my body broke anyway.  I turned out the light and painfully turned over to face my husband whose snoring had increased in volume and was now snorting.

Closing my eyes I began my prayers which were more about complaining and telling God what I was willing to do and what not.... I remembered that Jack had repeated to me what Dr D had said about physical therapy.  His nurse would arrange the therapy and I would receive a call soon with the details.  Needless to say I didn't sleep well and limped around in pain preparing for church the next morning.  I refused Jack's offer to get the walker out of the garage and put it in the truck.  I couldn't believe this was happening after I had spent so many months learning to walk again after each hospitalization over the past eight years.  I would not give in to this.  I had many private tears in church that morning.  I was in such pain that I wasn't able to stand for each hymn we sang or stand with the choir for the first hymns and affirmation of faith.  I did stay on my feet to sing the choir anthem, but was so disconcerted by pain I wondered if the congregation could see my shaking legs and trembling hands holding my music.  After the anthem, the choir always returned to sit with their families in the congregation.  I was very grateful then and on other mornings that Jack also sang in the choir and would help me off the stage and back to our seats.  We always had to race between the stampede of the kids rushing forward for the children's sermon. 

During the sermon I had quite a hard time keeping my eyes open.   The Tramadol medicine I had taken for my arthritis pain before church in addition to the sleepless night was adding up to not hearing anything the Lord would have me hear.  When church was over, I was wobbly and off balance as Jack held my hand while we walked in slightly curvy patterns to the truck.  I giggled to myself as I thought about giving the church members something to talk about.  It would probably be a juicy rumor by Monday morning that I was drinking again. Ha, if only they knew how badly I wished I had.

(to be continued...)

Friday, October 1, 2010

TRICIA GOYER'S GREAT QUESTIONS AND BARB'S ANSWER!

Tricia Goyer
Working on a book proposal & need your input on these questions: Answer one or many!
Have you ever compared yourself to another parent? How do you stack up?
What type of things do you compare?
Do you ever turn to God to help with your self-esteem or security?
How do you model for your kids that what Jesus thinks is MOST important?
...How does deepening your relationship with God help you be more transparent with others?See More
2 hours ago · ·

    • Nancy Williams Great questions to consider. Hope this moves from a proposal to publication.
      about an hour ago · ·
    • Tricia GoyerThis emoticon has been enhanced by Facicons
      about an hour ago · ·
    • Barbara J Shelton Need to get my thinking cap on if it still fits! Can I get back with you, Tricia? I've got total recall...I'd like to recall a lot of things I did as a parent! Just kidding...I'll think about these great questions seriously.

TID BIT I ADDED TO AUTHOR MICHELLE SUTTON'S BLOG, HEALING HEARTS

  One of the reasons I want to learn to blog is that I can keep track of comments I make to giveaways, exceptional articles and those authors that I admire.  I see this as practice for the real thing when I am doing the real thing and my mind dissolves in a "senior moment."  I hope someone will look one day at all this disorganized chaos and let me know they enjoyed or appreciated my efforts. I wonder what my 92 year old mother would say? LOL

 Fiction can be healing when it's used to open the eyes of someone who is blinded by their sin...

Jeannie Campbell, better known as "the character therapist" is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She wanted to share about how fiction can be used to help someone understand something that they simply weren't getting from an explanation in a counseling session. They needed to "see" it in a story to catch the full meaning. She says it best here...

( me and Jeannie Campbell)

"It's nice when I run across a book that not only speaks to me, but that I know will speak to my clients and the very situations they find themselves in. Michelle isn't afraid to "go there," which makes her books not only realistic, but page-turning. A lot of authors wouldn't touch the subject matter Michelle seems to thrive on, and her books definitely reach a population of readers who don't always end up with a happily ever after in their own lives. Showing characters dealing with various sins and their consequences is true to life.

I recently read a book of Michelle's and knew it would be a keeper for my list of therapeutic books to recommend to clients. Her bold approach to fiction is refreshing--and yes, shocking!--but life is shocking, is it not? I told a client that sometimes the allure of sin pales in comparison to the consequences. She was confused, and asked what I meant. I directed her to one of Michelle's books. The broken and guilty way she portrayed her character spoke to this women, and she realized that her own personal sin, much like the character's--no, exactly like the character's--was a barrier to achieving true, lasting happiness in the arms of a caring Savior.

Everyone should get a chance to check out what's so healing about Michelle's books. I know I'm looking forward to her new series!"

Jeannie Campbell, LMFT
the character therapist

1 comments:

barbjan10 said...
Well said, Jeannie!! You have said so much about Michelle's grit and dedication to women's issues in a few succinct words. Michelle is capable of insightful writing as though she were looking into my mind and speaking to my scars, my problems and hurtful memories. She not only opens eyes to their own sin, she opens up the hurt created by the sins of others and exposes understanding forgiveness of self and others. A great trigger to healing is the truth of God's everlasting love and overcoming power. Trusting God in all crucial circumstances is her key that opens the healing doors. I congratulate you for using her books in your practice. She does write as though she is a degreed therapist, doesn't she? Sharing Christ's Love, Barb Shelton

Fiction can be healing when it's used to open the eyes of someone who is blinded by their sin... Jeannie Campbell, better known as "the character therapist" is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She wanted to share about how fiction can be used to help someone understand something that they simply weren't getting from an explanation in a counseling session. They needed to "see" it in a story to catch the full meaning. She says it best here... ( me and Jeannie Campbell) "It's nice when I run across a book that not only speaks to me, but that I know will speak to my clients and the very situations they find themselves in. Michelle isn't afraid to "go there," which makes her books not only realistic, but page-turning. A lot of authors wouldn't touch the subject matter Michelle seems to thrive on, and her books definitely reach a population of readers who don't always end up with a happily ever after in their own lives. Showing characters dealing with various sins and their consequences is true to life. I recently read a book of Michelle's and knew it would be a keeper for my list of therapeutic books to recommend to clients. Her bold approach to fiction is refreshing--and yes, shocking!--but life is shocking, is it not? I told a client that sometimes the allure of sin pales in comparison to the consequences. She was confused, and asked what I meant. I directed her to one of Michelle's books. The broken and guilty way she portrayed her character spoke to this women, and she realized that her own personal sin, much like the character's--no, exactly like the character's--was a barrier to achieving true, lasting happiness in the arms of a caring Savior. Everyone should get a chance to check out what's so healing about Michelle's books. I know I'm looking forward to her new series!" Jeannie Campbell, LMFT the character therapist Posted by Michelle Sutton at 8:07 AM Email This BlogThis! Share to Twitter Share to Facebook Share to Google Buzz Labels: fiction, Jeannie Campbell, novel, testimony, therapy 1 comments: barbjan10 said... Well said, Jeannie!! You have said so much about Michelle's grit and dedication to women's issues in a few succinct words. Michelle is capable of insightful writing as though she were looking into my mind and speaking to my scars, my problems and hurtful memories. She not only opens eyes to their own sin, she opens up the hurt created by the sins of others and expose

Below is a comment conversation line on Facebook on the death of Tony Curtis that I was a participant.  Interesting the different takes on a person's life.  Just sharing in case anyone's passing by my blog today.
Comments are welcome.
Robin shared a post with TypePad
I was always fond of Tony Curtis as an actor. Hard to believe he was 85 when he passed away Wednesday. (But it's hard for me to believe I'm not still 32, too.) I loved Tony and his wife Janet Leigh (not to mention Kirk Douglas) in The Vikings. But I'd have to pick Some ...Like It Hot as my favorite Tony Curtis film. He pulls off a darn good Cary Grant in the movie, although that's not part of...
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16 hours ago via TypePad · ·
  • You and Judi Williams like this.
    • Barbara J Shelton Aw, I didn't know this yet. I enjoyed his acting and thought in my day that he was a super hunk....and I loved Janet Leigh. My sympathies go out to his family.
      16 hours ago · · 1 personLoading...
    • Margie Swearingen Mijares I always loved his movies...I had not heard that he had passed away.
      16 hours ago ·
    • Wende P. Moran
      i enjoyed watching some things that Tony Curtis acted in. I saw what he looked like this year from the Entertainment Tonight program, it was like he was a different person, though his eyes and voice were the same.
      It is hard to believe that ...many people only make it into their 80s and so many others live way into their 90s.See More
      16 hours ago ·
    • Kendra Elrod McBroom It is too bad more memories aren't shared from these great older actors/singers. Instead the news is focused on which Hollywierd person is arrested for drugs, had an affair with who, who is endorsing which candidate (like I care who they support).
      15 hours ago ·
    • Kelly Naramore ‎:0) He had beautiful eyes!
      15 hours ago ·
    • Sylvia Stewart Sadly, he lived a dissolute life.
      2 hours ago ·
    • Kendra Elrod McBroom After I said what I did, I heard on the news last night that he had drug problems, married 6 times so guess I was way off base. Sorry.
      2 hours ago ·
    • Barbara J Shelton
      Kendra, there is no need of apology, I knew these things about Tony Curtis, and pitied him for not acknowledging the love and protection of God. My own family has been victimized by the drugs, alcohol and poor choices of children who are a...dults. I truely think his family was strained, hurt and stressed because of his irrational behavior in private and public. Hollywood ethics are certainly not God's ethics. He was a victim of his own environment. What a sorry individual he did turn out to be. God help him now, we don't know where he is at this point except absent to those that love him. He was exploited in his old age by those silly commercials, his personal behavior and dress styleSee More
      21 minutes ago ·
    • Barbara J Shelton
      ‎(Whoops....I am not being very succinct...I couldn't see what I was typing) and acted quite juvenile. I pray he is in that better place. I was tempted to write judgment calls about him when I heard he had died, then I heard that prompt ...from God that might be lost..and that he had left leaving scars on others and himself. I've seen the irrational behavior of addicts, etc...and it scars everyone they know. My footnote...my 41 year old daughter who tried to destroy her life with drugs for 25 years, is now recovering and returned to God and our family. We are all in the process of recovery and hope for all of us. I pray good will come from this famous person's life and death and I pray the same for our daughter and family. God bless you Kendra. We are both daughters of God and are loved. Hugs, BarbSee More
      4 minutes ago ·