Monday, January 16, 2012

For Lexophiles

Hello Friends,
Today has been Monday all day long!  Even though we have been dedicating this day and our respect to Martin Luther King it has been festive in that respect, it's still been Monday!  I visited Suzanne Woods Fisher's blog and found delight in the following fun column she presented today.  The perfect uplift for a dreary sunless Monday.  Suzanne is a very successful writer of Amish stories.  Probably some of you have read them.  I hope she won't mind my borrowing her list to share with you.  You can go to her site, "Suzanne" at this link.  Enjoy!  
P.S.  Suzanne also has a radio show....find out all about that when you visit her blog.

Amish Wisdom Radio Show

                                 Amish Wisdom Radio Show 
Slow down, de-clutter, find peace, 

and live a simpler life!

For Lexophiles

1.   A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2.   A will is a dead giveaway.
3.   Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4.   A backward poet writes inverse.
5.   A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6.   When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7.   The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was 
      fully recovered.
8.   You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
9.   He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never 
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: 
      a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be 
      exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen 
      a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, 
      she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony 
      of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table 
      was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too 
      much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, 
      but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
23. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra 
     class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, 
      it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and 
      was cited for littering.
27  Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. 
     The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. 
     Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
      'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and went to the 
      hospital. When his mother telephoned to ask how he 
      was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper
     spray is now a seasoned veteran.

BY THE WAY........Suzanne is having a giveaway contest 
and the deadline to sign for it is tonight.  
Run....carefully to this address and sign up for 
a fantastic prize.

Hopefully, you'll find some amusement in your day.
I love you guys.....and hope to have more contact 
with you very soon.

God Keep You,

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